If you have ever asked yourself, “Why is my life fucked up?” this entry is for you.
Modern culture provides abundance and we don’t know what to do with it. Most of the problems in the modern world have something to do with having too much.
It’s easy to identify problems with scarcity. If you’re hungry, you don’t have enough food. Get more food. If you’re thirsty, you don’t have enough water. Get more water.
What do you do if you feel like your life is fucked up, and you can’t figure out what to do to change your life? How do you fix being depressed? How do you fix anxiety? Depression & Anxiety are two wrecking-balls smashing through young American hearts all over the country.
Sad Times in the modern era
- The Suicide rate has tripled for young adults since the 1950’s
- Normal children today report more anxiety than mental patients in the 1950’s
- Depression is a disease of the modern world
It’s hard to find out what’s wrong with your life in the modern era without the help of systems. Everything today runs on systems, instead of cues, like how society used to work before numerous technological advances.
In Tim Ferriss’s book, Tribe of Mentors, Tim sends the same questions to a large pool of notable high-performers. High-performers generally meaning people who are good at what they do and have some notoriety in their sphere.
The entries below include systems to help identify why your life is fucked up and habits that people of excellence tend to have. Assuming, that the exterior of excellent people match the interior, which isn’t always the case. However, mimicking habits of great individuals then tweaking the habits to your lifestyle is a sturdy rope out of a deep rut.
We all need to find our own way and the process is beyond difficult. This is your life’s mission. Find this and win. Don’t, and morph into a civilian with a whatever-happens-is-out-of-my-control attitude.
Below are 11 reasons why your life could be fucked up. If none of the reasons apply to you, you will at least find some new habits to steal from individuals who enjoy a position of authority in their sphere.
Look for meaning while you read.
11 reasons why your life could be fucked up
1. You don’t know what’s wrong with you
You don’t know what’s wrong with you because you don’t know who you are. You don’t talk to yourself or spend time with yourself. You don’t understand yourself. Technology skewered alone time and now there is no reflection.
You are on your phone whenever you are alone or bored. Not processing thoughts. Without alone time, your brain overflows with junk files, trash, and spam, like a phone that ran out of storage. It doesn’t work anymore.
I walked everywhere as a kid. Alone and with my friends. I didn’t have a smartphone. I couldn’t take a taxi or call an Uber. Almost every day was hanging out with friends, walking miles alone to a friends house in hopes they could come out and play.
These walks were times I spent with myself. I didn’t have a smartphone to entertain myself; I didn’t even have headphones. When I walked I spent the time alone. Meditating. Alone.
No one spends time alone anymore
Look at people walking, sitting on the bus, waiting in a lobby. Everyone is on their phones taking in information. When you take in information it’s impossible to process what is already in your head.
Imagine if an invading alien race came to our planet today. The Glorians, ancient conquerors of the galaxy, defeated by smartphones. We already have masters.
You don’t know yourself because you don’t spend time with yourself anymore
Sitting at home, watching Netflix, isn’t alone time. You’re spending time with Netflix.
To know yourself you need to spend time in your head without any input. Spending time alone allows you to sort and filter through your personal history.
People are anxious and depressed today for many reasons. One of which is undoubtedly that no one has personal time anymore; notifications won’t allow it.
One of the best ways to get to know yourself is daily journaling. I journal every night for personal therapy and understanding, which also allows me to review every day of my life whenever I want to, even on my deathbed.
You don’t know what’s wrong with you because you don’t know who you are. Spend more time hanging out with yourself.
2. You don’t have a routine
Many of the greatest who ever lived followed a schedule, which is really a daily plan of attack.
If you want to be a great man, a good, fundamental strategy is to find a mentor, or a character model, and learn how they lived then copy their lifestyle. This method is a shortcut to becoming the greatest version of yourself.
Many great former American presidents have biographies with details into their lives like the details of glass shards under a microscope.
Early American presidents did not engage in the dog show that is modern-day politics. Andrew Jackson, the 7th president of the united states, fought in duels. He faced opponents with a pistol to settle his arguments.
He was shot. Presidents today are silky soft.
Recommended presidential biographies:
Find someone you look up to and learn everything you can about them.
Steal bits of their personality and copy/paste their schedule components into your life. By copying and innovating upon your heroes, you can become greater versions of them and become a greater version of yourself.
Read often. Listen to audiobooks for free with our exclusive two-book deal and get started on the presidential biographies or listen to the autobiography of the baddest man on the planet.
You need a schedule to prevent chaos. Jordan Peterson’s book 12 rules for life talks about the relationship between chaos an order. Chaos is great for art but bad for almost everything else.
You need order to get something done which includes fixing parts of your life that aren’t meeting your needs. You still need chaos but most people live in a tornado when an orderly summer breeze is a much better experience.
Find a schedule or create one. Follow it.
3. You don’t meditate
If you don’t spend time with yourself you don’t know who you are. You need time alone from your smartphone–and so does your posture— time away from Netflix, social media, porn. And entertainment.
According to Tribes of Mentors, nearly every mentor has a meditation practice.
- increased confidence
- decreased anxiety
- a calmer state of mind
- more focus
- larger penile girth
- better sleep
- greater mind-muscle connection for training
- fewer distractions
- clearer thought
- general happiness and gratitude boosts
There is no excuse for skipping meditation and doing so is a statement of self-loathing. You can meditate anywhere, for any length of time for zero downside and unlimited upside.
You know a massive number of influential winners meditate daily. Do it.
Start a small meditation practice
Five minutes in the morning and five minutes before bed. Once you get used to the process you’ll want more. I started meditating for one minute twice a day. Really, I did.
Now, I meditate twice a day morning-and-night for twenty minutes each session. Whenever I get a lull in my life I meditate instead of using my phone.
4. You’re never alone
This point is the same as the first, repeated because it matters so much and you spend too much time on your phone.
Your phone is not your friend
Your phone is a marketing device used to extract time and money from you like a blue-chip prostitute sent from The Matrix.
People who spend hours on their phone are more depressed, more anxious and less satisfied with their lives.
Set a screen-time tracker on your phone. I use the Quality Time app with my Samsung S8. I refuse to update to a new phone. I have a timer set up to alert me when I spend thirty minutes on my phone and another alert for when I open my phone fifteen times.
My goal is to use my phone for less than an hour a day and open my phone less than thirty times a day.
I’ve been tracking my screen time for about a year and now I hit my goals almost every day. When I first began using a screen tracker I set no goals to set a usage baseline. I need you to do the same thing for your baseline.
My baseline phone usage was about four hours a day and around 150 unlocks per day. Yeah, not good. 16% of my day spent looking at social media, looking at, whatever–all of it fake. I was losing days of my life to my phone. You are too.
With most Americans spending 25% of their day on their phones, it’s no surprise people are anxious and depressed. Their addiction cuts 25% of their day from their lives.
Track your phone time and cut it down.
5 You don’t invest in your future
Humanity has unique advantages over other species. We can think about the future and prepare for it, for one.
If you aren’t preparing for your future the habits you have in the present are destructive.
Everything you do needs to involve making tomorrow better. Alcohol is the best analogy; drinking today makes tomorrow terrible. Spending money today makes tomorrow broke.
You need to invest in your future. What you do today prepares for tomorrow. Working out today is investing in a healthier, sexier, body for tomorrow.
Investors make better choices
Don’t watch Netflix; watch Masterclass. Don’t watch empty YouTube videos, watch free, forever Khan Academy lessons. You can learn how to code, finance, math; almost anything you want to learn is free over at the academy.
A life without investment is normal at best. Without investing, you will always work for money instead of letting money work for you. A gross & overused phrase that can change your life with execution.
Investing today is easy. The investment landscape is changing. Fast. Anyone can make sound investments from their phone and learn about investing too.
The way to dollar-cost average is easy. Invest a set amount of money every month–regardless of market conditions–and leave the money alone for at least ten years.
If you look at stock trends on a five-year or longer chart, you will see the astronomical gains the patient investor achieves.
If you’re wondering what to invest in, a good place to start is the SP500 or a specific sector that interests you, like technology or manufacturing. You can find a sector fund traded on the stock market, an ETF, with a simple Google search; Technology ETF. Industrial ETFs. A.I ETFs.
If you aren’t ready to invest and want to learn more first, check out the best apps to learn investing from your phone.
Invest using Robinhood. Use our link and get a free share of a company like Apple, Netflix, or other just for signing up.
We recommend Robinhood because there are no trading fees. Most brokerages charge $5 per trade. Expensive, if you expect to trade and not invest.
Once your money goes in keep it in the stock and don’t check its price. The best investors don’t touch their money. Trading is gambling. Don’t trade unless you know what you’re doing.
You can also invest using Acorns. Acorns rounds-up your purchases and invests spare change for you. Save money, without having to think about it.
If you sign up using our link, Acorns will give you $5 to start investing.
The method I use involves checking Acorns once every few months, pulling out the balance, and dollar-cost-averaging it with Robinhood.
My friend Craig uses Acorns as a vacation savings fund. He makes his kids use Acorns so they understand the potential of investing.
Using Robinhood and Acorns will help you prepare for your future while making tomorrow better for you.
These two services will start you off right.
6 Your relationships are toxic
It’s been said so much it almost hurts to write–you are the accumulation of your five closest friends.
If you hang out with losers, you’ll become a loser. If you have toxic relationships, your life and your mind live in a constant shower of radiation, like vacationing to Chernobyl for Instagram likes.
People fear being left behind.
Your strong friends–your best friends–will always encourage you to improve and follow your goals.
When you’re making mistakes they won’t coddle you. Instead, true friends will mercilessly attack you for not achieving what you want to achieve.
True friends will encourage you to move across the country for a new job and give up everything. Toxic friends will convince you to stay in your home-town and make another go at the 2004 Prom Queen.
Toxic friends don’t want you to change because they don’t want to be left behind. If you look for this one indicator, you can dig up almost any toxic friend and quarantine the amount of time you spend with them. If any, at all.
Once you remove your toxic friends you may feel lonely. Occupy yourself by hanging out with virtual friends and mentors by listening to the best podcasts for men.
Having two good friends is much better than having ten toxic friends.
Cut the fat and indulge in the fine marbling of your top-shelf teammates.
7. You don’t read
An author transfers his thoughts into a vessel when he writes a book. His thoughts can be shared. By reading, you can download the thoughts of anyone you want.
Read books about great individuals and become them.
People with limited knowledge believe there are secrets you need to understand before getting what you want.
People who believe there are “secrets”, gods or idols that permit them to win, or prevent them from doing so, will never get what they want.
They aren’t empowering themselves to get what they want. Playing the victim, or blaming the patriarchy for why you don’t have what you want is a guarantee you will never have anything you want.
Blaming the patriarchy, white men, immigrants, black men women, men, feminists; whomever, for the reason you can’t get what you want is no different than blaming a family curse Grandpa started when he stole a golden calf from a Aztec cave.
The Patriarchy is a God
The patriarchy is an idol the weak worship to explain why they don’t have what they want.
No different than the ancient people of Earth blaming the sun, God, or a miniature cow for their problems. People do this because they don’t have a large enough body of information to draw from, or the confidence, to solve their problems.
If you make excuses outside of your control you are powerless. You hand over the power to control your fate to groping, invisible hands.
Books are the best way to increase your knowledge and experience is how you become confident. Both are low-cost high-effort.
You can have whatever you want if you try.
Many books from great minds are free or 99 cents. You can get the Bible of Stoicism, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, for free.
Read all the time as much as you can. Be careful with what you read and pick interesting content that doesn’t sell. Buzzfeed tricks you into reading their content with clickbait titles. The Secret preys on your fear of missing out, promising diamonds but providing sand.
There are no secrets to success. Your problems come from not knowing enough or not being confident enough to do anything for yourself. David Goggins new book is a confidence creator.
Reading is accessible today with physical books, Kindle books, and audible audiobooks. You can listen to books while driving, at the gym, or at work. However you want good information you can get it.
You can significantly unfuck your life by reading.
8. You’re too plugged into the news
God is dead. The new Gods are Republican & Democrat, Vegan & Paleo, iPhone and Android.
You would think people would be more unique than identifying with their phones and their diet plans.
Even though we are in the age of technology, we’re still using the operating system from thousands of years ago.
America’s biggest tribe
The biggest tribe in America is political affiliation. Every day, even without looking for it, people are wet-slapped in the face with news about Trump’s tweets, acts of racism, school shootings and sexism.
Nearly everything you read on the news happens in places you don’t live.
Almost all of the news stories you read do not affect your life in any way. Regardless, when you read the news you feel like what you are reading affects you. The news isn’t sharing good news, either.
Mainstream media is dying and cannot be trusted. The news shares the worst news possible because, as humans are barely evolved from thousands of years ago, paying attention to danger saves lives.
The news isn’t news. It’s ideologically driven entertainment. You don’t have to believe it, but you can at least see it for yourself.
When you cut news programming out of your life you’re no longer carpet-bombed with every terrible event that happened this month. You realize the world really isn’t that bad.
You’ll feel even better with an information diet and a social media restriction.
Social media has turned away from being a method of connecting and towards a lame and whiny victim Olympics with paper-mache virtue medals.
9. You don’t take care of your body
Your body and mind are connected. A weak body produces a weak mind. Roughly 60% of Americans are obese or overweight. Over half the country is eating their way one fry at a time to an early grave and a feeble mind.
You can be in the top 40% of the country just by exercising and having a milkshake once a week instead of once a day.
If you’ve never worked out before, there are some thousands of resources to help get you started. One of the best, no-nonsense books on lifting and eating, without fluff, is Bigger Leaner Stronger.
Mike Matthews wrote Bigger leaner Stronger and also manages a popular blog, Legion Athletics.
My friend Dennis runs the Rogue health and fitness blog. He’s 64 and looks better than 80% of guys in their twenties.
His book Dumping Iron is one of a kind health book that is truly one of a kind, touching on the effects of excess iron in men and what to do about it.
10. You aren’t emptying your thoughts and emotions
Your mind and your body are the same. You strengthen your body through lifting and sport, you strengthen your mind through challenge and education.
Advanced lifters know they need to spend as much time recovering as they do lifting.
You train your mind and body. You do recovery for your body.
What recovery do for your mind? Most people do nothing. You need to release stress and metaphorically foam roll your brain every day.
You strain, chase goals, deal with stress, and none of that gets released.
Mental-strain with lagging trauma is like trying to bench press with a torn pec while your angry ex-girlfriend throws ceramic plates at your head.
There are multiple methods for mental recovery and your best choice is whichever you can do consistently. I’m listing some below that I use; but please, find what works for you. If you have something good, share it with me.
Use Youper to empty your thoughts like talking to a therapist via text message. Youper shows you metrics for your mood. Data for your health. And, Youper will remind you to check in once a day.
Youper is an A.I you can use anytime to empty your thoughts and indulge in mental recovery. We reviewed Youper in its entirety here.
You can journal for mental recovery. Julia Cameron recommends doing “morning pages” in her Tim Ferriss recommended book, The Artist’s Way.
Morning pages are two pages.
Your journal is your therapist. Your, “safe space”, as the sensies would say.
Tell your journal everything. Everything. All of your deepest secrets.
The accidental gay experience you regret, the time you smoked crack, when you were raped, your porn addiction, violent attacks.
Process your problems
Your trauma won’t leave until your process it. Face it. Spear your demons through the chest with a trident.
Recovery sucks. Think of physical therapy. It hurts a little bit but after months you feel better. Journaling your mental injuries will hurt but soon you will become much stronger.
Hide your journal somewhere you know it will be impossible to find. Buy a safe.
If someone else looks at your journal the benefits are gone.
Go to therapy. It’s cool now.
Guys like Charlagmane Tha God admit to going to therapy because he knows it gives permission for other men to get therapy. Therapy made his life better. He says this in his latest appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience.
11. You have no code for your life
You need a code for your life. A philosophy.
Philosophy is a guide for life. You can have a philosophy and a religion if you’re religious.
Your religion can be your philosophy but cover your bases. Your philosophy needs to set a framework for how you live right now. Before the afterlife.
The best philosophy is the one you create yourself, stealing from great minds and great philosophies of the past and present.
The Andreian Philosophy publication, the site you’re reading, is a magnet for the Andreian Philosophy Code. A free, forever, code for men available in multiple formats; coming soon.
Create a code for your life.