“The eldest of these, and Bilbo’s favourite, was young Frodo Baggins. When Bilbo was ninety-nine he adopted Frodo as his heir, and brought him to live at Bag End; and the hopes of the Sackville-Bagginses were finally dashed. Bilbo and Frodo happened to have the same birthday, September 22nd. ‘You had better come and live here, Frodo my lad,’ said Bilbo one day; ‘and then we can celebrate our birthday-parties comfortably together.’ At that time Frodo was still in his tweens, as the hobbits called the irresponsible twenties between childhood and coming of age at thirty-three.”
The Lord Of The Rings | J.R.R Tolkien
The Hobbits called your 20s your tweens, or your irresponsible 20s before you come of age and become a man at the age of 33.
Like hobbits, your 20s may be spent chasing pleasures that do not fulfill, that do not provide mastery, but this becomes less and less rewarding as you age closer to 33.
What does it mean to transition from being a young adult or a tween to becoming a man? If we look closely at what J.R Tolkien says, we can find it:
“At that time Frodo was still in his tweens, as the hobbits called the irresponsible twenties between childhood and coming of age at thirty-three.”
The adoption of responsibility is what makes a hobbit a man.
What you are responsible for has aspects of mastery:
- You can always be a better parent
- You can always be a better husband/wife
- You can always pursue mastery across body, mind, and spirit(BMS)
The pursuit of pleasure has no responsibility.
When a hobbit is responsible for something outside of his own basic care he has reached his coming of age. To be accountable for things outside of basic life sustenance tasks like eating food, sleeping, or drinking water.
Life is more satisfying if you choose what you are responsible for instead of letting others choose for you. One day, you will be responsible for something.
Hobbits are on track if they know what their responsibilities are by the age of 33. Some people arrive early, some arrive late, and many never arrive because they’re dead or refuse to adopt responsibility.
Understand the adoption of responsibility does not mean you no longer get access to pleasure. The adoption of responsibility provides your life with fulfillment, while pleasure becomes sweeter and more rewarding, being the respite from the pursuit of mastery as opposed to being the pursuit.
Pursue fulfillment aggressively. When you are tired in Body, Mind, and Spirit(BMS), allow yourself well-earned pleasure, but get back to the path quickly, because pleasure cannot be fulfilled.
Hobbits become adults when they adopt responsibility.
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