This is a legacy post from andreiathoughts.com, the precursor to andreian.com. It has not been updated and may not be relevant anymore.
Heal the Boy and the man will appear is a term that came from The Tony Robbins documentary, I am not your guru. It’s one of my favorite documentaries I’ve seen, even though in many areas it did lack. One of which I wanted to see more of was the life of Tony Robbins. How he lived, his habits, his morning routines, etc. Before you read this post, the two below are prerequisites.
All Of Our Fear is Set Within Instances That Happened in Our Youth
So what? Heal the boy and the man will appear. All of your fear, your anxiety, your pain and your terrors came from what happened to you when you were in your youth. The reason for your suffering is a loss of control. Loss of control is the biggest fear in the world, almost everyone has it. I’ll explain.
What is murder? Losing control of your life.
Rape? Losing control of the most personal places of your body.
Someone stealing something from you? Losing possessions, the loss of being able to control your car, your world.
Losing your job? You lose it. That means it cannot be controlled. What is lost is no longer yours. What is no longer yours cannot be controlled.
Everything that you fear comes from a loss of control. It seems insurmountable, how you would fix a loss of this but you can. You stop caring. You stop caring about things you cannot control, and now you’re at peace. You cannot control what happened to you as a child. Your a man now, let it go. If you’re a man in his teens or twenties your parents failed you. You may have been raised by a single mom, or a dad that wasn’t masculine or around much for you to look up to. This is causing men to be depressed. Because they don’t understand how to be men or the skills required. Often times one of the best things in the world you can do, is to let go. I wrote about this more in the only way to beat depression as a man. This is meant as a companion post to this piece, as the former didn’t expand enough on the concepts I wanted to share with you.
Without a strong figure in your world you’ll never be taught the fundamental skills you need to be a great man or woman(women read this blog, Surprisingly. ). With the internet you don’t need strong parent figures anymore. The information is out there for you, but you have to take it. You can waste your time looking at fit girls on Instagram, or read the greatest works of knowledge the world has seen. Including Andreian Principals. The choice is yours. You can choose to never let go of childhood trauma, to always grasp at “the good old days” even though there isn’t any. The past is a figment of your imagination, a mirage you keep chasing with a parched throat that will never quench your thirst. The present, this moment right now is the only thing that’s real. Many studies have shown that your memories are false anyway. The brain in all of it’s mysterious glory has a habit of changing things up on you. The beautiful thing is, it doesn’t have to suck.
If you hate your life at this moment, right now, you can decide to change it. You have unlimited power that you don’t realize or understand. I’m telling you right now, whatever you want, you deserve. There is nothing in the world that keeps you from happiness except yourself. Nothing. If you’re tired of being a loser, you can quit pornography forever. If you hate your apartment and your job, you can use breathing methods to make you superhuman focused. Then with your abundant energy you work 100+ hours a week chasing your dreams. What is 100 hours of work a week for a year, to obtain everything you have ever wanted? Is it better to work forty hours a week, jerk off all the time and keep watching Netflix for ten years until you kill yourself?
Take a moment. Think long and hard about what is important to you and how your time is being used.
Shameful moments in our youth are cancers that must be embraced.
Realize this truth: nothing matters.
It’s beautiful once you realize the simplicity of things, that nothing actually matters, it’s our minds that make them so. The things you thought that mattered when you were young, mean nothing in the larger scheme of things. The shame you feel in your youth is a cancer that you must let go of, because it doesn’t matter and it’s parasitically draining your passion, your life force.
Does being made fun of in high school effect you right now? No.
Will a gay experience in middle school stop the earth from spinning resulting in a cataclysmic descend into a black hole? No.
Will a divorce that gave you insurmountable pain as a child result in a car crash that paralyzes you? Probably not.
The only way to be free is to embrace the pain you felt as a child and let it go. You must heal the boy to bring forth the man that you are. It’s not physically hard, it’s not mentally hard, all it is, is acceptance. Realizing that you in fact do not matter, you are not special. This isn’t a bad thing. This is a good thing. This is giving you your freedom to be whomever you want to be. My childhood was full of trauma, and I let it control me. I set goals with deadlines that I would fail on because I didn’t feel good enough. All of this came from feedback I gave myself when I was younger. Feedback that others gave me too. You can give yourself new feedback, new stimulus. Use affirmations to reprogram your brain, here is my favorite affirmation that works wonders on smashing personal records.
Realize if you don’t let go of the pain you had as a young child, that’s it. You will always be the hurt, scared child that wets the bed, and hides in the closet from monsters. You don’t have to be, but you need to be the one that stands up and says enough is enough. that you want to be a man now.
Love The Worst Parts of Yourself.
When you’re climbing a mountain, you see a man on top of it looking down on you. You don’t think you can make it up, but you keep climbing. Something pushes you forward. Then, you make it up, realize how far you’ve climbed, enjoy it, and want more. Even when you make it, it’s not over. Life is not about achievement, life is about the challenge of achievement.
In order to climb this mountain you must realize that the self-hatred you have, your least favorite parts of yourself are the parts that get you to the top. Do you think satisfied men that are happy with themselves do great things? They don’t. The only people in this world that climb their mountains are those that have to prove they can to it to themselves. These are the ones that are willing to do anything in the world to shut that voice up in their head that tells them to “be rational” “you can’t do that”. This voice. Have you heard it before?
Love the biggest mistakes, your largest failures, your most miserable setbacks. These are the events that will cause to to do great things. I feel terrible for the man who grew up in a perfect home with a nice little picket fence who’s mummy and daddy loved him so dearly. He’ll never amount to anything. He’s never had a challenge that shook the earth he stood on. He doesn’t know how to push forward when an onslaught of pain stands in front of him. The perfect man is always the first to surrender, the first to quit, the first to give up.
The adversity and hardships you endured are what makes you great. Realize that these are the biggest challenges and lessons that the world has given you, the lessons that have made you the strongest, and the best. Like a sword that sits on a shelf, the perfect man is a decoy. He isn’t prepared to fight. He isn’t prepared for war. The sword that has seen a thousand battles, has been chipped, broken, and bent is ready to be thrust into the world like a newborn child with all the potential to do great things.
bad memories are not bad, or memories, they’re only lessons. Lessons that are personal to your experience. Only you can use them for growth. You can use them to grow, or let them enslave you and become a victim to all things organic. Analyze your lessons and use them for your growth. Stop trying to have an experience like anyone else’s. Stop looking for a normal life. Heal the boy, listen to your lessons, and the man will appear. Even if your childhood was terrible, you had a few happy moments. Hold on to those like a man stranded on an island with only a lighter and a knife for his survival. never let go of these moments. Use them to shape the future that you want to live in. The negative doesn’t exist, it’s only practice for a better future.
Onward into greatness.