Heal the Boy and the man will appear is a term that came from The Tony Robbins documentary, I am not your guru, available on Netflix.
Our Fears are set during instances in our youth. Most of these fears stem from a lack of control; a lack of power.
Heal the boy and the man will appear. All of your fear, your anxiety, your pain and your terrors today may exist because of what happened to you when you were younger and impressionable. Your fears were impressed on to you by the world, and some of those fears are valid–like fearing a poisonous snake, or an intruder breaking into your home–but many of your fears could be holding you back. The reason for your suffering is a loss of control. Loss of control is the most universal fear in the world, because most fear-inducing situations result from a lack of your control. There aren’t many situations where you are in complete control and terrified; but guilt could be another emotion worth resolving.
Murder is losing control of your life.
Theft is losing control of your belongings.
A ticket or negative interaction with the police is losing control of your finances, or your time. Years of your time.
Losing your job is losing control of your income stream.
Fear comes from a loss of control. It seems insurmountable how you would fix a loss of this but you can. You stop caring. You stop caring about things you cannot control, and now you’re at peace. You cannot control what happened to you as a child. Often times one of the best things in the world you can do is let go.
You can choose to never let go of childhood trauma by leaving it unresolved. Most people have trauma or unresolved conflicts from the past that can be solved individually, but is often healed faster by working with a professional, or using some kind of sacred medicine. The present, this moment right now is the only thing that’s real. Past trauma is a negative mirage that keeps you in the past.
Our memory is unreliable. You are likely misremembering the past, both the negative and positive parts of it.
Hanging onto the “good times” of the past can prevent you from moving forward in the present. The “good times” are likely misremembered and used as a coping mechanism for present difficulties, thinking the best has already past as a tangible reason to not excel in this moment.
If you hate your life at this moment, right now, you can decide to change it. You have unlimited power that you don’t realize and may not understand. Whatever you want, you deserve. The world is here for your adventure. There is nothing in the world that keeps you from happiness except yourself. No one can control your reactions to what you experience.
Take a moment. Think long and hard about what is important to you and how your time is being used.
Shameful moments from your past must be embraced
Realize this truth: nothing matters.
It’s beautiful once you realize the simplicity of things, that nothing actually matters, it’s our minds that make them so. The things you thought that mattered when you were young, mean nothing in the larger scheme of things. Shame from what you did when you were young must be forgiven so it can be assimilated into your experience.
Repressed memories will not die or be at peace until you forgive yourself.
Does being made fun of in high school bear weight on who you are as a person today? Your parents divorcing? Having a shameful or painful sexual experience? A death of a loved one? A betrayal? No. The past is gone and this moment is what you have, and the future for as long as you are around.
Allow your pain and trauma from the past to be a source of inspiration by assimilating it and forgiving yourself. If you do not your past will be a constant impediment that will compound and become stronger as you go on, manifesting in negative manners like poor discipline, addiction, and other unwanted, unconstructive behaviors.
Mend the past. Heal the boy and the man will appear.
The only way to be free is to embrace the pain you felt as a child and let it go. This requires loving yourself like your life depends on it.
Realize if you don’t let go of the pain you had as a young child, or heal it, this is where you will be stuck. You’ll be carrying a weighted vest uphill as you climb towards your goals and being a better version of yourself, slowing yourself down, getting to experience less of your life and your destiny. You need to be the one that stands up and says enough is enough.
Love The Worst Parts of Yourself.
When you’re climbing up the mountain, you see a man on top of it looking down on you. You don’t think you can make it up, but you keep climbing. Something pushes you forward. Then, you make it up, realize how far you’ve climbed, enjoy it, and want more. Even when you make it, it’s not over. Life is not about achievement, life is about the challenge of achievement.
In order to climb this mountain you must realize that the self-hatred you have, your least favorite parts of yourself are the parts that get you to the top. Do you think the self-satisfied that are happy with themselves do great things? They don’t. The only people in this world that climb their mountains are those that have to prove they can for their individual reasons. These are the ones that are willing to do anything in the world to shut that voice up in their head that tells them to they can’t, they aren’t good enough, or worse, that you ARE good enough.
We are never good enough. Mastery is forever.
Love the biggest mistakes, your largest failures, your most miserable setbacks. These are the events that will cause to to do great things. Feel terrible for the man who grew up in a perfect home with loving parents who was never challenged. He’ll never amount to anything. He’s never had a challenge that shook the earth. He doesn’t know how to push forward when an onslaught of pain stands in front of him. The perfect man is always the first to surrender, the first to quit, the first to give up.
The adversity and hardships you endured are what makes you great. Realize that your trauma and your pain are the beginnings of the redemption story that the world has given you, the lessons that help make you the strongest, and the best. Like a sword that sits on a shelf, the perfect man is a decoy. He isn’t prepared to fight. He isn’t prepared for war. The sword that has seen a thousand battles, has been chipped, broken, and bent is ready to be thrust into the world like a newborn child with all the potential to do great things.
bad memories are not bad, or memories, they’re only lessons. Lessons that are personal to your experience. Only you can use them for growth. You can use them to grow, or let them enslave you and become a victim to all things organic. Analyze your lessons and use them for your growth. Stop trying to have an experience like anyone else’s. Stop looking for a normal life. Your life right now is a normal life, because it is what happened to you. Heal the boy, listen to your lessons, and the man will appear. Even if your childhood was terrible, you had a few happy moments. Hold on to those like a man stranded on an island with only a lighter and a knife for his survival. never let go of these moments. Use them to shape the future that you want to live in. The negative doesn’t exist, it’s only practice for a better future.
Onward into greatness.